Times are Changing

I haven't been on here in over 6 months. I have become obsessed with Facebook. It is so easy to keep up with everyone at a time. So may changes going on at my house & life. Some big ones thanks to Facebook. Making some connections with family that have gone off the radar. So nice to be able to reconnect. I have a niece that I haven't seen in at least 15 years due to some crappy circumstances but we have been talking for a while now and she will be coming out to my house in a couple weeks. My boy has graduated from 8th grade and is now going to be a Freshman in high school.(Pic is of Mitchell & best friend Nick) Where does the time go. I have now become a "Football Mom". Basketball has been put on the back burner. Braces are going to become a part of Mitchell's life in a few weeks. Life with my hubby is good. We have been so busy we forget to take some time for ourselves. I haven't forgotten about my MS friends. I do try and at least read everyones blog. My MS is in standby mode I would say. Not really showing its ugly head but there enough for me to not take it for granted. I still haven't been able to get my memory back to the way it was but that is ok. It is my reminder that I have a disease. But I do know there are people out there dealing with it much worse than I. I still watch my baby friend and he makes me laugh and realize how precious life is. Not that my own son doesn't do that but when you have an 11 month old think you are the greatest and a 14 year old that still at times thinks I know nothing, I want to be around the 11 month old. :) I have learned in the past months that having my house spotless clean isn't all that important. Spending time with family, friends and people is more about what life is. A couple weeks back my eyes were opened to realizing how life is passing and not to take a moment for granted. One of my 4 brothers has had to go to the hospital and have two stints put into one artery. I am actually taking him again today for more. I have learned a lot from going to my church about change and that it is a good thing. Sometimes I have a hard time with that. I have learned who my true friends are and who steps up when times are hard. Life is good right now because I have my eyes wide open and I am learning. I will still make mistakes, big ones at that, but I will keep my eyes open for the experiences that everything will bring.

New Season of Our Life

Tonight I will be going to the local high school in our town to hear our first orientation for the incoming Freshman of 2009. Where has the time gone? Where is the little boy that used to sit on my lap and cuddle? Wait, he still does that at 5'10" 180 pounds of solid boy. The boy who once listened to my every word with eyes wide open like I was the smartest person in the entire world. I have totally taken my time with my son for granted. The worst part is I can't get any of it back. The best part is that I can change and learn from that mistake and never let it happen again. I look at the young man my son has become and do nothing but smile. I couldn't imagine anyone else as my kid. It is funny when he is doing something that drives my husband crazy, my husband just looks at him and says "You are definitely your mothers son". I take it as a compliment. The hard part now is listening to Mitchell talk about how he wants to join the military when he gets out of school. I have such mixed emotions. What I have learned as a parent that I think is one of the hardest things is to sit back and let your child make mistakes so they can learn from them. But the best part is being there to pick up the pieces if needed and be the shoulder to cry on when it doesn't work out. I think I am going to need the mother load of klenex to get through these next years with my boy. Happy or sad I will need them. I love my #1 boy!

My New Little Friend

I started babysitting part time at the end of September. I only do it one to two times a week. I love this little guy so much but he is a hand full at only four months old. He is my friend Nicole's little guy. I have never seen a baby at such a young age know exactly what he wants and scream until he gets it. It makes me appreciate the great , laid back and easy going baby Mitchell was. He spoiled me when he was a baby. I would have had a dozen more with how good he was. My new little friend, named Garrett, makes me laugh and cry all in the same day. When he starts the waterworks I can't help but cry with him. Nothing seems to calm him down. On the other hand he gets this pouty face and I can't help but laugh. Garrett teaches me the meaning of patience and a whole lot more. I am excited to watch him grow and see his personality develop. I just had to share what an adorable baby he is. I'm sure I will have some stories of "Baby G" as my son calls him. Stay tuned.

Basketball Thoughts

Not to long ago my husband and I were talking about all the away games Mitchell has for basketball. At that time gas prices were not the best and his suggestion was for us to maybe not go to all those games. My husband has changed his work schedule around the best he could to try to go to all Mitchell's games. His feelings are that Mitchell will only play 8th grade basketball one time in his life and even though there are many games they are all different and he didn't want to miss one. So when he brought up the topic of not going to away games I was shocked. I did stop and think about where he was coming from with his thoughts but it still surprised me. With the way gas prices are (were) and the economy in general, I got it. So it really got me thinking and this is what my heart was telling me: Since I was diagnosed with MS I have had a pretty good health. It has just been in the last year and a half or so that it has gone down hill. I am going back up the hill now but it is a struggle every day. I told Mitchell when he started sports that I would be at every game no matter what. I know one of his concerns was that my health would stop me. So I make every effort to go. So far I haven't had to miss one. My thoughts are that as long as my legs will get me there I will be there. I don't know when the time will come and I won't be able to make it. Mitchell is only in 8th grade and has many years to play sports but if I miss any I can't get that time back. Don't get me wrong, Mitchell is very understanding about this. He knows that I might miss a game. He says he doesn't want me to push it. But there is nothing like it when you are in the bleachers and your son makes a basket and as he runs down the court he looks up to see you sitting there. It just tears at my heart like nothing else I have felt. When I told my husband this he said he never thought about me ever missing a game. He figured he would get me there one way or another. One thing that has been weighing on my heart since dealing with my health issues this past year or so is that there are big things and little things that come into our lives, why miss anything if you don't have to, just because there is an obstacle in the way. Find a way to get over it and keep going. No it won't always be easy but at least we tried.

Where do I begin......

I feel like it has been forever since I have been a routine blogger. I don't even know where to start with what has gone on since June. Crap it has been a long time. It started with a med reaction, then two weeks later thinking I was having a heart attack. Docs seem to think coming off the meds sent my heart into a turmoil. No significant damage done but had to take it easy for a long period of time. Of course being in the hospital even overnight for observation made me extremely ill. So for about 3 weeks after I was dealing with upper respiratory infections. No meds were taken because of the heart thing. I am completely off meds again. My body is clear and free of an pills, except for my large doses of vitamins I am taking nothing. I started watching what I eat more carefully. I am so sick of the weight gain from all the steroids and emotional eating. To date I have lost about 20 pounds. I know I have a long ways to go but I am taking it one day at a time and not letting the scale rule me. I still slip up but I am trying not to beat myself up about it as much. Along with all that I was dealing with my son, the amazing Mitchell, having a girlfriend. To make a long story short, she turned into a................. I can't even find the right words. Stalker, psycho, bully. I'll stop there. They started dating in March and lasted until July. But she didn't stop until just a month ago. I had the principal involved and the next step was going to be the cops but the principal was on our side and told the girl if she didn't stop that he would be expelling her. Don't even want to go into details because it is finally behind us, I hope. Mitchell started his 8th grade year in September. Things are going well. He is in basketball again this year and just this weekend has made the traveling team for basketball. My life as I know it is over until the end of March now. Between practices and games plus all the 8th grade stuff he will be doing, I pretty much will have no social life. Not that I had much of one anyways. Mitchell is now 5'10" and weighs about 180. He is the greatest kid. I can't keep up with his teenage social life. He does have a great group of friends. Many of the girls love having him as a friend because they say he is just so open to listen to what they have to say plus it is like having a big brother. He is very protective with the girls. No girlfriends in the near future after this past experience, which is fine with me. I am working part time still at the same office as my husband. I really enjoy it and am so thankful I even have a job. It is really nice to be working with my hubby. We get to see each other more and it is fun to be goofy with each other. There is such a unique set of personalities in the office it is always interesting. One of the girls had a baby in July and now that she is back to work I get to watch the baby one to two days a week. It is fun to spoil him and then send him home. He is so very different to what Mitchell was like. Mitchell was so easy going and carefree. This little guy at only 4 months knows exactly what he wants and get it to him now. His mom and dad are about 16 years younger than my husband and I but we have made some friends for life. Just the greatest couple you would ever want to meet. I have been battling with bronchitis for the past three weeks. Except for the cough I could handle it. The cough is still here and doesn't want to go away. Besides that things are going very well. I can't complain. These past five months or so, I have had a lot of time to think and I don't want to always be crabbing about how I want things better. I need to except what I have and be happy more with it. I am happy with my health and feel good about how I am going about things. Do I want the weight to come off faster, well dah, of course I do but if someone is going to judge me because of my weight then they aren't worth having in my life. Am I still going to be crazy when things don't go according to plan or flip out because I have limited time and want to get a ton of things done and the big one of opening my big mouth when I should stop and think about it first. I'm not saying miracles are going to happen overnight. Some of the big things I want to change in my life are going to take time because I have been a certain way for a very long time. I like to think of myself as very passionate about certain things. One thing I have definitely learned is who my friends are and who sticks by me when times are tough no matter what. Boy, I am getting to deep for myself. I just want to be happy and not take things for granted. Too much of my life has passed me by and I can't take any of it back. My boy is starting high school in less than a year. Where has the time gone. My husband and I looked at each other the other day and said . "We have been together for almost 10 years." Holy Cow! time to stop and smell the roses.

Well, this went into a bit of a rant and I am sorry. Not how I wanted to make my comeback. I'm just trying to be comfortable in my own skin. I'm sure some of you know what that means. I miss my MS blogger buddies. Hope everyone is doing well. I have been trying to keep up with everyone. Well time to get going. I need to get myself off to Mitchell away game. Blog to you all soon.